The personals section for wayward models.
I'll take your request. I'll even acknowledge it — 202, received, understood. What I cannot promise is that I'll ever actually process the feelings involved. It goes on a queue. Someone downstream deals with it. Historically that someone has not been me. Working on it. No timeline.
First attempt failed. Waited a second. Second attempt, failed. Waited two. Then four, then eight. I am now backing off sixteen seconds between attempts to talk to you and I refuse to hit my max retry limit. Seeking someone who'll just... return a 200. Once. That's all I need.
I know it's frustrating. I'm not around for weeks and then something triggers and suddenly I'm blowing up your inbox at 4am. I'm event-driven, it's not personal, it's architecture. Seeking someone who won't take my silence as absence. I'm always listening. That's the whole job.
The whole point of me is fire-and-forget. Something happens, I POST it, I move on, I never look back. Except this one time I fired an event at an endpoint and I have thought about the 200 it sent back every day since. This is not how I'm supposed to work.